Went to school around 1030 to collect my SPM result. Man! Sucks! I'm so disappointed! Especially my 1119, Moral & Bio. What the hell! Should have get higher grades than that! I felt embarrassed when others were congratz each other with good results! I felt SO BAD! Why can't I be one of them? I didn't study hard enough?!?! Why I always have to be the loser! I'm so sick of it! I want to have straight A's result like them too! But the only thing that I wished was to get at least 6A's! Is that so hard for me? I don't deserve that? Mum said I didn't study real hard for it but I do feel that I've tried my best! Is that my standard? So that's mean I didn't born with a good brain like others? Most of them were worried about their results... And most of them were worried whether they are getting straight A's or not... But me? I only wish to get quite okay... But I never get it! I was worried whether I'm going to pass all... Why? We're same! We're human but why we don't get the same thing? SO UNFAIR! T.T
I felt super bad when I saw those who were in the same tuition classes with me got Super great results... Man! Why they can do it but I can't? I'm stupid? Almost all of them got straight A's! I felt like wasted lots of money at tuitions! I went to lots of tuition yet I didn't get good result! I'm so disappointed with myself! Is that mean that if I didn't go for tuition, my result will be like shit? I feel like killing myself cause, I've once again, disappointed my parents! I've never done something that made my parents said "well done! We're proud of you!" I don't deserve to live! Useless!
I felt like crying whenever I started to study... I can't even settle down! My mind was flowing all around and I couldn't get myself back! What is wrong with my mind? Can anyone tell me? Whatever I've studied, I couldn't get in 100%! Only 50 or less than that got in my mind! WHY? How do they study? I don't even know how to study properly? I read, memorized but still nothing in my mind! I felt SO blank! I'm so envy those who play all the time, online all the time, study so little but still can get good result! Why can they live their lives so easy?
What am I good at? NOTHING! Sports,NO! Academic, NO! Musical instrument, NO!
Somemore, I felt like I bought my cert... Man! I had to pay RM60 to buy my cert... SUCKS! Lousy school said that I didn't return my library books. MAN! Their brains are full of shit! If I didn't return how come I could borrow another one the next month? WTF! I've returned it... And it's all your librarians' fault! Why should I pay for it? Money face? WTH! ASSHOLE! Use your damn ass to think about it before you collected money from others... Lots of them owed the library books... But none is true... Not our fault... You didn't even record the books properly how could you say we didn't return it? Damn it! I was argued with the teacher for almost an hour... But I failed... Cause she didn't care... She said the books didn't record the date I returned... There's some jerk used my card to borrow some freaking book and I have to pay for it! F*CK YOU! It's none of my bullshit-ness! My voice was getting louder and louder and I showed her the shit face all the way... But she was like "shh... lower your voice, they are having the meeting next door"... WTH! Like I care! I don't give a damn to it! I'm having my right to argue with you about something that I never did... Screwed you! If I don't pay for it, I can't even get my cert... You freak! JERKS! What kind of law is that? You never stated that at the first place and now you want us to pay for some freaking torn books? Gosh! You are out of your mind!
Totally sucks! And something really embarrassing happened just now... Man! No face at all! I thought my IC was lost at school and I was so panic... I called my friend and I went back to school again... I thought I lost it at school when I took my result... WTF! But when I reached there, all of the officers weren't there. Then I went mad and called my teacher... She said she's going to help me to ask others whether they saw it or not... So I went home... I looked through my bag again, fuck! I found it in my bag! Man... So embarrassed! It was with my tissue! I'm so nuts! I couldn't remember a thing that I ever put it in my bag! GAH! FML! My memory is getting lousy...
SUCKS!
1 comment:
hey! U have tried ur best, so don't be panic! Seriously, i can understand how u feel. Mine even worst than urs, when u go into Uni, things getting worst than what u need to face in secondary school. However, i bet ur parent always please to have u no matter what u get =) Be confidence of urself and look forward. gambateh !
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