Your prayers are being answered :')

"Prayers are not like shopping lists with items that can be ticked off. If you remember that a prayer is a conversation with God, you will see God respond every day."

Thankful :"))

Story of me

                            

My fear has been following me for so long and I don't know what to do...
My worst nightmare just happened to me last October. That night was unforgettable. People might think it's nothing for them but for me it's like one of the scariest things that could ever happened to me. I couldn't explain how it hurts me badly, but it just did. That was the time when my tears were more than the water I drank. I had been crying for 24 hours non-stop (except when I fell asleep). That was the reason why I stopped joining, socializing and so on for a period. I was too afraid that the same thing would happen to me again. To be honest, I couldn't forget about the past, even until now. Whenever I start to recall about that night, I'll still cry. T.T
A friend told me she was surprised that I would go back to that place again. She thought I would never ever like forever go back there. After she said so, I've thought about it. I was kinda shocked that I would say yes to go back there. Cause normally I won't... I would just hate that place and the people there to the max... but this time I didn't. I was so surprised too. At first I was scared to go back there, but after that it wasn't so bad at all. Not so scary anymore. I believe that He has been there for me to guide me through my fear. :) Though I wouldn't say I've totally overcame my fear but yea... At least it's better than before. I didn't cry that much when I thought of that night. Hopefully soon I won't be crying about it at all. I know with Him, I can do this. :)
I have to say, till now I'll still keep on thinking about "what if the same thing happen to me again?" "what if I will lose faith if I have to face it for the second time?" That would be a disaster I guess. That's why I'm still struggling whether to join sometime. Because from what I see, people who knew each other earlier than you, their relationships with one another will always be stronger than the relationship with the one that came in late. So yea... (I'm crying when I'm typing this. shit) I know I can never be "that" close with them cause there are too much things I don't know about them and they didn't share with me... That's why I'm so afraid of joining sometime.Worried about being left out. I don't like how one treats me when he/she knows that I'm so afraid of............ yea...  I feel like that person accompanies me just because he/she wants to "take care" of me instead of really be there with me as a friend. That hurts me even more cause it makes me feel like I'm a burden to them. Because of me, they couldn't  hangout with the people they wanted to hangout with. Because of me, they couldn't do what they want to do. Because they need to accompany me so that I don't feel so alone. For me that makes me feel so bad. I feel very guilty. I really don't like that.
But anyway, from the day He touches my heart, I've put my trust on Him. :) and I put my faith in Him that He will guides me through my fears, picks me up from the mess and rebuilds my confidence. Most importantly, I believe that with Him, I can forget about the past and stand back straight like I used to be. He is able! He is good! He will never leaves anyone who believes in Him. :) <3 p="p">

I thank You! <3 :=":" p="p">

He answers me! ;')))

"When you are not sure, when you hope for the best, then you will fear the worst. When you are absolutely certain, even if it is a certainty of suffering, fear disappears, and strength flows in its place."

Nice Lyrics :')

What I see in my heart's eyes was the end of the world I once forgot
What I heard in the road of darkness is a voice of someone calling me

If the journey of sorrow starts when we transcended time
then I would like to offer you this life

In the name of love, only rely on love
To the battlefield we must go
So the flower of miracle can blossom

Everyone who knows their life must end somehow
dream of never-ending dream
People is sure an affectionate beast 

Tears are surely words of sadness that one can't say
What dampen your cheek are several million of them

People who know hope and despeer seethed all of those in their heart
And it would flow to eternity like an ever-flowing spring

We only hear love, and only love guide us
We roam endlessly while drawing a line of light

We realize bravery is a flame in our heart
And we're walking the path of thorns until we're burned with pride

Oh send this prayer, to his heart
The heart I recieved from the Sky above is only for love...

We hold on love
To the battlefield we must go to
So the flower of miracle can blossom

With the name of love, with the honor of love
I'll do what my soul wants me to do until I'm burned with pride

True :)

"If your prayer has no emotion, it has no power. God wants to know how you feel. God wants to hear what's in your heart."

GWMTK :)

"Letting go of the past is not easy, especially if you have wounds that have never properly healed. But, the past is past and living there may be preventing you from fully experiencing the present. Likewise fear of what may be looming around the corner can also prevent you from fully enjoying the present. Live in the moment and look forward to eternity with God, now that's a great present."